I have not had much chance to post recently, I have been majorly busy with some projects, initially I am restarting my blog,
http://ramblingsofanofficeworker.blogspot.com
Working on a social forum
http://www.evolutiondirectory.com
with its York section growing rapidly at http://yorksocial.evolutiondiretory.com
Then I have started setting up three affiliate sales websites.
http://www.thisisaffiliate.com
http://www.thebargainbin.com
http://www.businessinformationresource.com
These three websites focus on different areas but I hope to make tehm all pretty damn popular soon!
Friday, 30 November 2007
Tuesday, 13 March 2007
Global Warming, The Biggest Bullshit Political Distraction Tool
Global Warming is a touchy subject to many people, environmental supporters all over the world tout it as the coming destruction of the human race, but should we be worried, and is it caused by us?
The first thing I must state is that throughout history the major temperature changes have been caused by the suns orbit, and the wobble on the earths axis, evidence Here.
The second thing is that any major volcanic eruption puts into our atmosphere anything between 4 and 10 times the amount we could produce in a year, not tomention the smaller volcanic erruptions, of which I can find no substantial evidence regarding the pollutants expelled.
First things first, an indepth look at the earths orbital differences. 11000 years ago for instance the earths axis was positioned in such a way that the end of June was mid winter, 1000 years ago December was Mid Winter, that means that in approximately 10000 years time Winter will be yet again in June, not many people realise this, but then again how many parts of the country already suffer the harshest winter months in January or Febuary, rather than the traditional December?
I think this is a geat example to show that even a slight tilt in the earths angle, not even its position in relation to the sun, can have a dramatic effect on the earth. These variations in teh arths axis, spin and eliptical orbit must all be taken into consideration to any research data on the earths temprature, currently they are not.
Another Major Factor is misrepresentaton of data, Here is agreat site pointing out false data provided to support, here I will Highlight a few of the major, less technical points for you.
This image clearly shows temprature variations over the last 3000 years. This not only shows how our temprature has been below average for a long time but also the temparture changes can be completely erratic with no human intervention whatsoever.
I particularly like the quote
"The overall rise of about plus 0.5 ºC during the 20th century is often cited in support of ''global warming'' (38). Since, however, 82% of the CO2 rise during the 20th century occurred after the rise in temperature (see figures 1 and 12), the CO2 increase cannot have caused the temperature increase. The 19th century rise was only 13 ppm (2). "
Which refutes much data about global warming, there is also a more complete version of the graph which sparked off much of the panic about global warming. The highlighted area is the data most used by people propogating the global warming theory.
Of Course, CO2 levels have risen, this worrying graph shows how much since 1940 the CO2 Level has increased
THe first thing this graph shouts at you is 1900-1940 had 18% of the CO2 increase compared to 1940 - 2000 which had 82%. First things first, the date range in the large increase is 20 years greater. Of course there is still more CO2 released, big cheer, the industrial revolution. the great thing is this has made no difference whatsoever to the temprature cycles caused by the earths rotation.
The next point to consider is the increase from 315 to 360 on the graph, this looks worrying till you remember it is after all parts per million. The graph is however accurate and concurs with several others from different locations. the suspicious looking periodic higs and lows are caused by seasonal plants intake of CO2.
Between 1940 an 2000, the industrial age, humans output of CO2 rose by 3 Gigatons. That puts total output by human beings at 5.5 Gt of Carbon a year. Putting this in perspective the atmosphere contanis approximately 750 Gt and natural Gt C per year from the natural world is as follows
1000 Gt C - Surface Ocean
2,200 Gt C - Vegitation Soils & Detritus
38000 Gt C - Intermediate and Deep oceans.
The actual amount transfered each year is as follows
90 Gt C - Surface ocean to Atmosphere
90 Gt C - Surface ocean to Atmosphere
60 Gt C - Vegitation and Atmosphere
50 Gt C - Marine Biota and Surface Ocean
100 Gt C - Surface Oceans and Intermediate and Deep Oceans.
So in total 150 Gt C is transferred to the atmosphere by the natural means every year, as opposed to the 5.5 Gt C by people. Of course the 5.5 Gt C is rising, but it is expected to level off, as most carbon producing industries have stabalised over the last 5 years, and the graph ends at the year 2000.
So all in all we contribute under 3% of the CO2 to the world, should we be that worried?
Wednesday, 28 February 2007
My Favorite Religion.
I am a hugely sceptical man when it comes to religions, complete bullshit is how I would describe the teachings of everything from the christian to the muslim faiths. While I respect other peoples rights to believe in whatever fantasy they wish I believe the world would be a much better place without any of them.
Of course there is one religion on which I place a fair amount of respect.
Buddhism.
This religion focuses not on the devine but the self, it teaches inner focus and self control. It does not even mention heaven and hell, miracles or any of that bullshit. Of course mans incessant need for teh dive has spawned offshoots, the well known buddha was born of a lotus blossom has been mistaken by many westernised buddhists as a sign of a divine buddha. However most (Sane) people have remembered how poetic people can be and would like to remind everyone that lotus blosom, flower, rose etc have been regular names to compliment women. Rose is more western, where rosey cheeks have been the fasion for many years, jsut as in the past pale faces where revered along the eastern countries (Hence lotus blossom).
Buddhism is a religion which trains people to think, critically about the world, to ignore outside influences, and to focus the mind on one thing. It also provides guidence on meditation, similar to focused thinking but clearing the mind completely. These two are truely interlinked as one helps train the other, and with the state of mind provided by this some of the greatest philosophers, though relatively unknown have come from the buddhist faith.
What interests me is did any other religions start like this. Christianity, jewish and muslim faiths are very hard to disect, despite being the largest the are also basically the same religion, each twisted by its base countries to help their rulers control their populace.
The Jewish human christ, the Christian Divine christ and the Muslim Mohammed are but smoe of the differences in the scriptures. So what should I compare these to?
Paganism is out, its from paganism that these religions spawned
Wikka? was created in the early 1900's by a convicted sex offender, he created the wikka religion ina way that brainwashed hundreds of women with promises of power and magic andto performing deviant sex acts with and for him. There are now thousands of young girls, mostly 12-16 who claim to practice this, little knowing its history and following books made to make money from them.
Infact one of the most promising religions is that of the Hindus, very smiilar to buddhism in principles of yoga and meditation but the hindo religion reffers to three (As far as im aware) dieties. Vishnu, Shiva and Brahmā, which are described more as entities of the same god. In that respect it is one of the few branches of religion where people choose which to follow, and yet there is no competition between them. However, during the start of the religion however it is well noted that there was no God related to Hinduism, this school of thought was called Samkhya. Along with many indian religions the concept of Re-incarnation is central to Hinduism, quite a clever move, since in christianity heaven is far away and imagined, yet on earth you see daily people with a better life. Reincarnation offers you that life if your a good person on this one.
Hindus seem to me to be the best religious group to highlight the crossover from philosophical beliefs to religious.
Of course this does not cover how the Jewish>Christian>Muslim faith came about, since the Christianity and the Muslim faith sprung from a mix of pagan and Jewish religion, but Judaism itself is the first roots of a Monotheistic faiths ever recorded. It is hard to decipher where Judaism became a religion, it is in my opinion spawned from the Laws that where created when the Israelites fled from Egypt during the exodus, A time when their people would have been much in turmoil and in need of fresh hope.
I must make it very clear right now, in my opinion any belief in a Deity or religion is formed because of a persons lack of control in life, a religion is the base of the ignorant to feel the chains of oppression they encounter in everyday reality are insignificant, and that it is the divine powers that control everything equally that will make the final judgement. The religions are usually formed by men wanting to control a populace and spotting this weakness, it is human nature to take advantage of weakness in others, and religious doctrine distributed to the masses is no different.
I believe the human race does require some form of moral code, some kind of power to stop the known evils man can commit. However I don't think religion is the answer in our progressing world, Buddhism is an enlightened faith, one that relies on faith in ones self, once everyone opens their mind to the repercussions of their actions upon the world, and the actions this will bring back upon themselves I believe a lot of the human races problems will disintegrate.
Karma is a fantastic way of describing things, though a little too paranormal for me. While I do not believe in any guiding force, balancing everything out equally I do believe that people who lead good lives and influence the world in a positive way will always lead the happier lives. The world has suffered from many wars, much violence and abundance of hate. Wouldn't things be so much easier if the people doing this for themselves stood back, just for a few minutes and thought why?
If everyone stood back and thought, would I want this to happen to me?
One thing is for certain, the religions in the world are dieing, people are discarding god, but also discarding the morals provided. A new kind of religion needs to appear, not one based on divinity or deities, one based on people, morals and peace. Competition of course has to exist, but competition currently has left behind morals, if people slow down because of moral implications somebody else rushes ahead. The only way it would work is if everyone switched at once.
I believe there is another way.
A way that the world can be brought back into shape, where religion can be discarded and people can value a karma like system.
Maybe one day.
Of course there is one religion on which I place a fair amount of respect.
Buddhism.
This religion focuses not on the devine but the self, it teaches inner focus and self control. It does not even mention heaven and hell, miracles or any of that bullshit. Of course mans incessant need for teh dive has spawned offshoots, the well known buddha was born of a lotus blossom has been mistaken by many westernised buddhists as a sign of a divine buddha. However most (Sane) people have remembered how poetic people can be and would like to remind everyone that lotus blosom, flower, rose etc have been regular names to compliment women. Rose is more western, where rosey cheeks have been the fasion for many years, jsut as in the past pale faces where revered along the eastern countries (Hence lotus blossom).
Buddhism is a religion which trains people to think, critically about the world, to ignore outside influences, and to focus the mind on one thing. It also provides guidence on meditation, similar to focused thinking but clearing the mind completely. These two are truely interlinked as one helps train the other, and with the state of mind provided by this some of the greatest philosophers, though relatively unknown have come from the buddhist faith.
What interests me is did any other religions start like this. Christianity, jewish and muslim faiths are very hard to disect, despite being the largest the are also basically the same religion, each twisted by its base countries to help their rulers control their populace.
The Jewish human christ, the Christian Divine christ and the Muslim Mohammed are but smoe of the differences in the scriptures. So what should I compare these to?
Paganism is out, its from paganism that these religions spawned
Wikka? was created in the early 1900's by a convicted sex offender, he created the wikka religion ina way that brainwashed hundreds of women with promises of power and magic andto performing deviant sex acts with and for him. There are now thousands of young girls, mostly 12-16 who claim to practice this, little knowing its history and following books made to make money from them.
Infact one of the most promising religions is that of the Hindus, very smiilar to buddhism in principles of yoga and meditation but the hindo religion reffers to three (As far as im aware) dieties. Vishnu, Shiva and Brahmā, which are described more as entities of the same god. In that respect it is one of the few branches of religion where people choose which to follow, and yet there is no competition between them. However, during the start of the religion however it is well noted that there was no God related to Hinduism, this school of thought was called Samkhya. Along with many indian religions the concept of Re-incarnation is central to Hinduism, quite a clever move, since in christianity heaven is far away and imagined, yet on earth you see daily people with a better life. Reincarnation offers you that life if your a good person on this one.
Hindus seem to me to be the best religious group to highlight the crossover from philosophical beliefs to religious.
Of course this does not cover how the Jewish>Christian>Muslim faith came about, since the Christianity and the Muslim faith sprung from a mix of pagan and Jewish religion, but Judaism itself is the first roots of a Monotheistic faiths ever recorded. It is hard to decipher where Judaism became a religion, it is in my opinion spawned from the Laws that where created when the Israelites fled from Egypt during the exodus, A time when their people would have been much in turmoil and in need of fresh hope.
I must make it very clear right now, in my opinion any belief in a Deity or religion is formed because of a persons lack of control in life, a religion is the base of the ignorant to feel the chains of oppression they encounter in everyday reality are insignificant, and that it is the divine powers that control everything equally that will make the final judgement. The religions are usually formed by men wanting to control a populace and spotting this weakness, it is human nature to take advantage of weakness in others, and religious doctrine distributed to the masses is no different.
I believe the human race does require some form of moral code, some kind of power to stop the known evils man can commit. However I don't think religion is the answer in our progressing world, Buddhism is an enlightened faith, one that relies on faith in ones self, once everyone opens their mind to the repercussions of their actions upon the world, and the actions this will bring back upon themselves I believe a lot of the human races problems will disintegrate.
Karma is a fantastic way of describing things, though a little too paranormal for me. While I do not believe in any guiding force, balancing everything out equally I do believe that people who lead good lives and influence the world in a positive way will always lead the happier lives. The world has suffered from many wars, much violence and abundance of hate. Wouldn't things be so much easier if the people doing this for themselves stood back, just for a few minutes and thought why?
If everyone stood back and thought, would I want this to happen to me?
One thing is for certain, the religions in the world are dieing, people are discarding god, but also discarding the morals provided. A new kind of religion needs to appear, not one based on divinity or deities, one based on people, morals and peace. Competition of course has to exist, but competition currently has left behind morals, if people slow down because of moral implications somebody else rushes ahead. The only way it would work is if everyone switched at once.
I believe there is another way.
A way that the world can be brought back into shape, where religion can be discarded and people can value a karma like system.
Maybe one day.
Tuesday, 20 February 2007
House Price Drop
Currently house prices in the Uk have started to drop, many people will argue this pointing out various facts and figures, however many facts provided are spurious, and leave out a huge array of variables, such as furnishings etc. The fact of the matter is that while the government is doing its usual job of throwing around random figures (nice round figure of 10% growth in December) many of the companies as a whole are reporting between-2.7% and .3% growth. Worse than that, some regional areas are reporting hose price drops of 7% in the last few months.
This is definately not a good sign for the economy, especially with rising inflation and interest rates. Of course the raise in interest rates, good news for savers bad news for borrowers, a rise in interest rates is a treasurers first defence against spiraling inflation, like at teh moment where most people are living beyond their means.
The inflation is, rather cruelly, designed to make a large number or people to default on their mortgages, spend less, save more, make houses and goods cheaper etc. Of course this will weaken the pound, but so would a full on depression that our government has to avoid, and at least this way we get to keep our jobs for a while.
The coming years will be bad news for anyone with a mortgage, especially a variable one, along with any investors in the pound in the currency exchange, for local savers though teh interest rates will keep your savings growing nicely! Gold will be a safe bet, foreign currencies if you fancy taking a quick risk.
This is definately not a good sign for the economy, especially with rising inflation and interest rates. Of course the raise in interest rates, good news for savers bad news for borrowers, a rise in interest rates is a treasurers first defence against spiraling inflation, like at teh moment where most people are living beyond their means.
The inflation is, rather cruelly, designed to make a large number or people to default on their mortgages, spend less, save more, make houses and goods cheaper etc. Of course this will weaken the pound, but so would a full on depression that our government has to avoid, and at least this way we get to keep our jobs for a while.
The coming years will be bad news for anyone with a mortgage, especially a variable one, along with any investors in the pound in the currency exchange, for local savers though teh interest rates will keep your savings growing nicely! Gold will be a safe bet, foreign currencies if you fancy taking a quick risk.
Monday, 5 February 2007
God, where fore art thou?
The existance of God is something that has been the subject of many a furious debate. From the slightest classroom argument to fullscale wars across the globe the argument of both wether there is a god, and which god it infact is has been something that man has been unable to agree on since the dawning of our intelligence. Even though our intelligence has ascended and historians have pieced together the evolution of religion, from pagan through to its multitude today. The historians can state why changes occured in religion, why each religion came about at a certain time, usually down to war, or some new ruler wanting a tool to control the population. What amazes me is the fact that much of the world still believes wholeheartedly in these spectres created centuries ago.
Of course dispite the religious leaders claims of how many million/billion folowers they have, usually figures that have no factual backing, I have met many supposed followers who I wouldnt class as actual followers of their religion. Talking to several 'christians' many of them admit they dont believe in God, but do follow the principals, morals and the social interation which is being removed from our lives. This is in my eyes a failing of the very basics of a religion. A religion is quite simply a belief in a diety, anything else is purely doing what s/he says.
My first suggestion would be for all religious type people to go into some veriation of budhism, but god knows the country is in a bad enough state without those slackers about. Its all well and good talking about truth and beauty, but not if theres a depression so bad you have to eat a beautifully truthful dog.
I have to admit that I would be interested in seeing how a country without religion but instead a code of morals works. There are many of these about at the moment, since lets face it, all the moral countries that may have existed would have been wiped out by the religious countries a long time ago.
But back to the point at hand, where is God? does he exist?
I quite liked teh anology used in one of Dan Brown's book, where one of the main priesty characters compares gods allowance of ills in the world to a childs skatebaording. Would you stop the child skateboarding because he might hurt himself?
This, i think, is the kind of response you hear in the world, it sounds as though it relates to the point, it sounds like its allowing you to answer your own questions and it does seem to make the answer yes YES you would infact do that, making you feel ever so slightly better. Unfortunately it doesnt answer the question.
Would god let his child skateboard?
Probably.
Would you give your child and his mates automatic weapons and a fleet of apache gunships, then infect them all with terminal cancer.
Suddenly the the holymans explaination seems just a little less explanative.
Something I read a whileback (I think by Scott Adams, author of Dilbert) states something that I will endeavour to explain and expand on.
According to, for example christianity. God created everything, saw everything and loved everything he had created. God is also Omipotent, this not only means he is everywhere, but means he is everywhere And sees everything AND he sees everything from every angle AND from every possible perspective. So lets try and see a human from gods perspective. He not only sees an interesting person, he sees interesting organs, interesting atoms and interesting electrons. this means that to god a rock at most levels is as interesting as a person. A tree would probably be more interesting. The solar system a work of perfect geometry, would be the same as an atom with the sun being the proton, bplanets being electrons. The whole galaxy being a molecule of an organ of some infetesimal being mabey?
The point most notably being made here is that if god was realy omnipotent he would see nothing special in humans. Despite this the argument is actually FOR the existance of God, after all, it explains why god lets these things happen, he simply doesnt notice. With so many other amazing things going on, why would he?
Of course dispite the religious leaders claims of how many million/billion folowers they have, usually figures that have no factual backing, I have met many supposed followers who I wouldnt class as actual followers of their religion. Talking to several 'christians' many of them admit they dont believe in God, but do follow the principals, morals and the social interation which is being removed from our lives. This is in my eyes a failing of the very basics of a religion. A religion is quite simply a belief in a diety, anything else is purely doing what s/he says.
My first suggestion would be for all religious type people to go into some veriation of budhism, but god knows the country is in a bad enough state without those slackers about. Its all well and good talking about truth and beauty, but not if theres a depression so bad you have to eat a beautifully truthful dog.
I have to admit that I would be interested in seeing how a country without religion but instead a code of morals works. There are many of these about at the moment, since lets face it, all the moral countries that may have existed would have been wiped out by the religious countries a long time ago.
But back to the point at hand, where is God? does he exist?
I quite liked teh anology used in one of Dan Brown's book, where one of the main priesty characters compares gods allowance of ills in the world to a childs skatebaording. Would you stop the child skateboarding because he might hurt himself?
This, i think, is the kind of response you hear in the world, it sounds as though it relates to the point, it sounds like its allowing you to answer your own questions and it does seem to make the answer yes YES you would infact do that, making you feel ever so slightly better. Unfortunately it doesnt answer the question.
Would god let his child skateboard?
Probably.
Would you give your child and his mates automatic weapons and a fleet of apache gunships, then infect them all with terminal cancer.
Suddenly the the holymans explaination seems just a little less explanative.
Something I read a whileback (I think by Scott Adams, author of Dilbert) states something that I will endeavour to explain and expand on.
According to, for example christianity. God created everything, saw everything and loved everything he had created. God is also Omipotent, this not only means he is everywhere, but means he is everywhere And sees everything AND he sees everything from every angle AND from every possible perspective. So lets try and see a human from gods perspective. He not only sees an interesting person, he sees interesting organs, interesting atoms and interesting electrons. this means that to god a rock at most levels is as interesting as a person. A tree would probably be more interesting. The solar system a work of perfect geometry, would be the same as an atom with the sun being the proton, bplanets being electrons. The whole galaxy being a molecule of an organ of some infetesimal being mabey?
The point most notably being made here is that if god was realy omnipotent he would see nothing special in humans. Despite this the argument is actually FOR the existance of God, after all, it explains why god lets these things happen, he simply doesnt notice. With so many other amazing things going on, why would he?
Wednesday, 31 January 2007
The Squirrel and the Grasshopper
REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
______________________________________________________
THE ENGLISH VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The BBC TV shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The English press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Labour Party, The Greens, Family First, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of England demonstrate in front of the squirrel’s house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing “We Shall Overcome”.
Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, rants in a TV interview with Jeremy Paxman that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his “fair share” and increases the charge for squirrels to enter Birmingham city centre.
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel’s taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders, for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel’s food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to the UK as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of the Englishman’s apparent love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.
A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel’s food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn’t bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper’s drug “Illness”.
The cats seek recompense in the high court for their treatment since arrival in the UK .
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching England ’s multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by Tony Blair and the government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the UK .
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.
THE END
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
______________________________________________________
THE ENGLISH VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The BBC TV shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The English press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Labour Party, The Greens, Family First, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of England demonstrate in front of the squirrel’s house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing “We Shall Overcome”.
Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, rants in a TV interview with Jeremy Paxman that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his “fair share” and increases the charge for squirrels to enter Birmingham city centre.
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel’s taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders, for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel’s food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to the UK as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of the Englishman’s apparent love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.
A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel’s food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn’t bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper’s drug “Illness”.
The cats seek recompense in the high court for their treatment since arrival in the UK .
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching England ’s multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by Tony Blair and the government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the UK .
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.
THE END
Tuesday, 30 January 2007
Single parents on benefits
Yesterday I lightly touched on the fairly taboo subject of single parents on benefits. Mentioning a distant friend of mine, though i dont know her well, only in passing, here I am going to attempt to do a case study highlighting her as a random example of a problem that is costing our country billions a year, £400+ million of which by single parents who are no longer single.
First of all a profile is in order, she is fairly young at 23 and has had a fairly steady boyfriend for 7 years, she has one child with him and is expecting another. She used to live at a hostel but now has a council flat in central london, of which she spends her various hours on a fairly expensive computer, playing a variaty of games, one which required only the first initial fee, the second requiring monthly payment off approx £10 (not a huge amount).
Foodwise she tends to live on a lot of take out, however she does also do a fair amount of cooking.
She buys designer clothes in the low-medium expense range (The usual slightly 'chavish' brands) for both herself and her child.
She is a fairly heavy smoker, a habit that costs dearly, she has no intention of giving this up when the new anti smoking laws come into place as she does not frequent drinking establishments regularly. On the same line since she does not drink out a huge amount this saves a fair amount of money. She does occasionally go out, and does occasionally drink at home, but neither to a degree of concern.
The first thing to point out is that she is currently commiting benefit fraud. She is one of the people costing us tax payers £400 million plus a year as she has a partner but has not chosen to inform the government of this.
A major factor is that she freely claims that this lifestyle was a choice, and that she does not want to work. Quite a worrying factor is that people are now considering living off benefits a 'choice', when it should infact be a 'saftey net'
Her child now goes to school which allows ample time for her to get a part time job to help bring in some cash, she does not however wish to do this as she likes staying at home.
Her boyfriend does work, and does share some of his income with her, though his job is not extremely high paid it would be more than enough for them to live on while claiming the applicable benefits.
The big question is this, why is she, and thousands other like her doing this?
The simple answer?
Because its stable and comfortable. Its not the best life, she could get better, but she is comfortable where she is, after spending so many years in this position she feels both safe and simply has no desire to move out of it. This is a situation apparent in many aspects of life, even in my on job I could go for something better but have become stable and comfortable where I am.
The Problem?
This lifestyle is costing us dear, with the billions we are losing thousands of nurses, police and teachers could be hired. the economy of the UK is, despite what the government claims, on a massive downswing, people are going bankrupt at 3 times the rate of two years ago. The people working are having less and less to live on, especially the lower paid. Inflation calculated by third parties is hitting 8%-14%, and even council tax is raising by an average of around 5%. Of course the government is boasting of how inflation is at its lowest ina long itme at a good 2.5%, which is what many peoples wages are based on. Hence why my cost of living has gone up by about 9%, despite the government assuring me its 2.5% and my job giving me a good ol' 2.5% payrise.
First of all a profile is in order, she is fairly young at 23 and has had a fairly steady boyfriend for 7 years, she has one child with him and is expecting another. She used to live at a hostel but now has a council flat in central london, of which she spends her various hours on a fairly expensive computer, playing a variaty of games, one which required only the first initial fee, the second requiring monthly payment off approx £10 (not a huge amount).
Foodwise she tends to live on a lot of take out, however she does also do a fair amount of cooking.
She buys designer clothes in the low-medium expense range (The usual slightly 'chavish' brands) for both herself and her child.
She is a fairly heavy smoker, a habit that costs dearly, she has no intention of giving this up when the new anti smoking laws come into place as she does not frequent drinking establishments regularly. On the same line since she does not drink out a huge amount this saves a fair amount of money. She does occasionally go out, and does occasionally drink at home, but neither to a degree of concern.
The first thing to point out is that she is currently commiting benefit fraud. She is one of the people costing us tax payers £400 million plus a year as she has a partner but has not chosen to inform the government of this.
A major factor is that she freely claims that this lifestyle was a choice, and that she does not want to work. Quite a worrying factor is that people are now considering living off benefits a 'choice', when it should infact be a 'saftey net'
Her child now goes to school which allows ample time for her to get a part time job to help bring in some cash, she does not however wish to do this as she likes staying at home.
Her boyfriend does work, and does share some of his income with her, though his job is not extremely high paid it would be more than enough for them to live on while claiming the applicable benefits.
The big question is this, why is she, and thousands other like her doing this?
The simple answer?
Because its stable and comfortable. Its not the best life, she could get better, but she is comfortable where she is, after spending so many years in this position she feels both safe and simply has no desire to move out of it. This is a situation apparent in many aspects of life, even in my on job I could go for something better but have become stable and comfortable where I am.
The Problem?
This lifestyle is costing us dear, with the billions we are losing thousands of nurses, police and teachers could be hired. the economy of the UK is, despite what the government claims, on a massive downswing, people are going bankrupt at 3 times the rate of two years ago. The people working are having less and less to live on, especially the lower paid. Inflation calculated by third parties is hitting 8%-14%, and even council tax is raising by an average of around 5%. Of course the government is boasting of how inflation is at its lowest ina long itme at a good 2.5%, which is what many peoples wages are based on. Hence why my cost of living has gone up by about 9%, despite the government assuring me its 2.5% and my job giving me a good ol' 2.5% payrise.
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